From Stuck to Success: The Key to Better Conversations

“Just park your cynicism and get on board.”

A senior HR executive said this during a town hall I attended, responding to questions about a new employee engagement initiative. It was an organization with a long history of disengagement, stemming from complex, unresolved issues. But none of those issues were acknowledged.

The response left the room silent—and skeptical.

It reminded me of something I witnessed during holiday shopping. A parent was trying to calm a crying three-year-old:

“Sweetheart, you have to stop crying.”
“I can’t stop crying!” the child sobbed.
“Well, you just need to stop.”

Instead of uncovering why the child was upset, the parent focused on the desired result: silence. Unsurprisingly, the crying didn’t stop, and I quietly finished my checkout while the tears continued.

Here’s the thing: We can’t simply “just stop crying,” “just trust the plan,” or “just engage.” Humans don’t work that way—especially when emotions run high.

This is where active inquiry comes in.

How Active Inquiry Uncovers Root Causes and Drives Action

Active inquiry combines powerful questions, active listening, and meaningful dialogue. It helps you move beyond surface-level reactions to uncover the real issues at play. I use this approach in my coaching practice, and it’s a skill you can apply to strengthen communication, build trust, and improve buy-in with your teams.

Active inquiry is about asking open-ended questions—Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How—with the intention of guiding a conversation. When you ask the right questions and truly listen, the person you’re speaking with can often lead themselves (and you) to the answers.

If we come back to the employee engagement question and understanding root causes of disengagement, we could use active inquiry questions like:

• What does being engaged at work mean to you personally?

• Can you describe a time when you felt fully engaged in your role? What made that experience different?

• What barriers do you think prevent you (or others) from feeling fully engaged here?

• If there’s one thing about your work environment you could change, what would it be?

• How does communication within the organization affect your day-to-day experience?

• What’s a small change we could make this week to improve how you feel about your work?

If you’d like to explore how active inquiry can work in your organization or dive deeper into employee engagement, feel free to reach out. No strings, no sales pitch (unless you want one)—just a conversation. I’d love to help you create a path forward.