Forget Being Humble

“You’re overly confident.”

I can still picture the scene like it was shot in grayscale.

My manager across from me, in her windowless gray office, behind a gray desk, delivering a review I’d waited months for—only to lead with that.

And in my early-twenties ambition-fueled brain, my first instinct was to say, “Thank you.”

Reader, I did not.

Let’s rewind.

Months before this conversation, I had asked my manager for a professional development plan. I was about a year into my role, eager to grow, and ready to work for it. She suggested I focus on headline writing. I respectfully countered: “Actually, I think I’m doing well there—could we focus on another area where I see more room to grow?”

That was the moment, apparently, when I stepped out of line.

By the time review season came around, the suggestion I made months ago had somehow morphed into a character flaw. I hadn’t taken her advice, so I must be the problem. “Overly confident,” she decided.

Here’s the thing: I was advocating for myself. Not dismissing her. Not being flippant. Just honest. And for some leaders, that’s uncomfortable.

Sometimes “overconfidence” is just confidence that doesn’t play small.

I’ve worked hard to build my confidence. I wasn’t born with it—I was a shy, studious kid who survived adolescence as a teenage girl (which should qualify you for hazard pay, honestly).

And I’ve worked just as hard to build my competence—because I believe in matching the two.

So when I came across Stefanie Sword-Williams’ book F*ck Being Humble, I knew I’d found a kindred spirit. The book is packed with practical advice for unlearning the belief that self-promotion is shameful and confidence is arrogance.

One of my favorite sections breaks down the barriers that keep people from owning their brilliance:

1. Class A Clinging
You’re in a role that no longer serves you, clinging to comfort—or what’s familiar—even when you know you’re meant for more.

2. Where the F*ck Do I Start?
You want to make a change, but the starting line feels blurry, far off, or locked behind a wall of LinkedIn overwhelm.

3. Procrastinating Perfectionism
You tell yourself your résumé’s not quite there. Your portfolio needs one more edit. You stall. Not because you're lazy—but because you care a lot.

Sound familiar?

If so, you're not broken. You’re just stuck in a cycle that confidence can help you break.
And that’s not just for comms professionals. It’s for anyone who’s ever been told to shrink themselves to fit someone else’s comfort level.

So, here’s your reminder:

You’ve gotten to where you are by doing something right. Trust that.

Confidence isn’t about being loud or flashy. It’s about being grounded in your value—whether you’re writing headlines, leading a team, or finally making that big career move.

Want more tips for building confidence in your career and communication?
Get them here.